You Never Forget Your First
It was a
beautiful Saturday night in early May, a little over two years ago when I met
her.
It was
still in the upper 60s after dark . It was one of those times in New Jersey in
early spring when a tug of war was going on between the cold of winter and the
heat of summer , and at least for the last few days , the warmth was winning .
Hormones
were raging as they always are when the first blast of warm sunshine hits the
masses who’ve been bundled up for the last several months.
On this
night I was no exception. I was driving
along, contemplating what I was going to do, admiring the moon as it rose ever
steadily in the sky and became brighter by the minute, though it was not quite
full, it still looked impressive, and wondered what I was going to do and just
why was I alone on a Saturday night.
I was on
this kind of lonely, dark road, state highway rte. 206 . I think it was just
north of Princeton . I came up on an
area of lights, the first break of destitution this road had to offer in at
least 15 minutes .
On my left
was a small strip mall complete with a
multiplex movie theater and a Friendy’s Restaurant. A couple of gas stations came into view as
well as a convenience store. On my right
was what looked like a bar / restaurant with quite a few cars in the lot .
I was
already about an hour and a half from my home in northern N.J., I really didn’t
know how far the next place would be, and I had to pee pretty badly, so I
figured “what the hell” and pulled in .
It was a
fairly nice place with a bit of a rustic setting. Inside the walls were adorned with
memorabilia. There were old cola
advertisements, a wagon wheel, license plates from decades ago and from several
different states, and an ad for farm tractors (this is called the Garden State
after all). I did notice the eating area
was a bit too small for it’s obvious reputation, and loads of people were
herded around an extremely large bar waiting for a table.
I took care
of the business at hand in the men’s room and started to patrol the bar for an
opening. Luckily as I approached , a
middle aged couple heard their name paged and I got a stool.
A very
friendly bartender brought me an Amstel Light
(I do not drink domestic) and I proceeded to indulge in my favorite pub
pastime, eavesdropping on the conversations of those around me .
Can you
believe the idiocy of some people?
I started
by listening to this thirty something couple to my left. They were both dressed casually, yet very
neat, as were most of the people here, almost “preppy”, as if it were “dress
down Friday” at the office. She’s
telling him about the frustrations of her week.. About how her corporate American boss doesn’t
appreciate her when she’s there, but when she’s out even for a day, nobody else
knows her job and she’s indispensable .
She goes on
to complain that the CEO of this small corporation hates her attitude and
that’s why she’ll never be paid what she’s worth and that her job is in
constant jeopardy.
I kept
glancing over (when I thought they wouldn’t notice) to see what kind of
reaction he would have .
I figured
all this “ bitching” would be irritating to him ( I know it was to me!) . But he’s just grunting and shaking his head
back and forth and responding in terms like,
“ I hate that” and “geez” , just
enough to make her think he’s really paying attention. It seemed he’s heard all this before. As I’m watching his eyes, he seemed more
interested in ogling the attractive, long brown haired, ample breasted bartender.
Now that
I’m totally disgusted watching this, (one reason why I avoid serious
relationships, you loose interest), I
turned my attention to the two guys directly to my right. They were dressed almost “clubish”, as if
this was just a stop over on their way to a more happening place, more
conducive to picking up woman.
They were
also concentrating most of their attention and energies on the body language of
our bartender, though much more openly.
The one
closest to me, a dark haired, fairly muscular “Guido” looking fella said to his friend, “ I’d pump
her like an old tire! Although, she
might have to beg to be with the likes of me.”
He glared over at his friend with a sarcastic, cocky, testosterone
filled “shit eating grin”.
His friend,
like they were playing out a common routine said, “Yeah yeah, you might have the looks, but remember, we average guys don’t get “IT” as much as you do, so we try harder to
make everytime the best time.” I’d “rock
her world”. “Besides, you’re all show,
no go!”. Then he smirked in response.
For a plain
looking, balding guy trying to hide his insecurity by growing a ponytail and
sporting an earring, I admired his self
confidence .
“Yeah
right!” the good looking one responded, “give me one of your woman for one
night, and by morning, she’d forget your name !”
They both
laughed obnoxiously at their macho displays.
Enough was
enough. I was bored with this. Even if I did enjoy this game, these “people”
held no fascination for me. All I wanted
to do was finish the last of my second beer and leave before these ridiculous
surroundings rubbed off on me. I looked
down at the bar for a second to make sure that the two dollars and fifty cents
I left for the tip was appropriate for the six fifty tab (3.25 for a beer here
I thought was a little steep) and started to rise off my stool. That’s when I saw “her”.
She was
sitting seven seats from the nearest corner of the bar to my left. Being consumed by the simpletons around
me, I didn’t even notice her come in.
She was wholesome
looking, with very little makeup, long, straight , dirty blond hair. She seemed to be of slightly above average
height , though it was hard to tell because she was sitting, and wearing a
conservative but tasteful white blouse, the kind that fits nice with a pair of
jeans. Her lipstick-less lips were full,
and looked soft and moist.
She looked
up with her crystal blue eyes and noticed me peering in her direction. Her nose crinkled in such a cute way as she
flashed me a meltingly coy smile.
My heart
fluttered, and I swear it skipped at least one beat .
She
was “Perfect”.
Could she be the “One” I’ve waited
for? The one I’ve saved myself and my
soul for? The one to strip me of all my
inhibitions and make me whole? Most
people don’t believe in love at first sight , but I always felt that if it was
right, I’d know it, and this felt so
right . The boredom I felt just a few
seconds ago was just a distant memory.
The anxiety
was eating me alive. I decided to throw caution to the wind and take the chance. My inherent fear of rejection kicked in and I
could feel my body temperature rise and my stomach churn with anticipation with
every step I took in her direction.
She
obviously saw me coming, because as I approached, she half turned in her seat
and gave me a big smile. This instantly took away the pressure and quieted the
butterflies in my abdomen.
“Hi!”
“Hello!
“she said in the sweetest of voices, “I’ve never seen you here before.”
“I’ve never
been ,” I said, feeling even easier now because of her soft, friendly demeanor. “To be honest, I was just
out for a drive and happened to stop in.
“Well, imagine my luck, “she said as her eyes
casually sized me up, perusing down then back to meet my gaze.
Wow! That really blew me away! As I felt my confidence growing, I returned
the favor down her lean, shapely body, and coming back to make deep eye contact
said, “Believe me, the luck seems to be
going all my way.”
Yeah, corny
I know, but she seemed to like it. She
smiled at me and made a yummy sound like
“Mmmmm!”
We talked
for about forty five minutes. Just
casual conversation, how nice the weather’s been, how the local sports teams
were doing (something she knew considerably more about than I did. I have no use for athletics). We had some good laughs, and of course some
light flirting. I brought her a couple
of red drinks with ice, I had no idea what they were.
Things were
going very well, and than, out of the blue, she said, “Hey, I was going to call
my dad to come and pick me up, but if you could, I’d much rather you drove me
home, if it wouldn’t be too much trouble?”
she made her face into an exaggerated pity expression, bring out her
bottom lip. “It’s only about ten minutes from here, and I’d be grateful?”
Could this
be happening to me? I always thought
things like this only went on in bad cable movies, but this was real, and she
was so beautiful and innocent. “Sure,
no problem, “I said, still only half believing I wasn’t dreaming, “It would be
my pleasure.”
Her face
lit up like Times Square at midnight and she gently kissed me on the cheek.
We slowly
strolled out to the car arm in arm, and I opened and closed the door for the
lady. (See, chivalry isn’t dead!). I proceeded to my side of the car and got in. As I put the key in the ignition, I felt her
hand stroking the back of my neck. I
turned my head in her direction. Her
face was only inches from mine.
We kissed
slowly and sensuously for a brief time.
She pulled away slightly, kissed
my neck softly, and whispered, “I know a
beautiful, private “spot” not
far from here, would you like to see it?
Her sweet,
sexy voice exhilarated me to the point that I could hardly speak. “I’d love
to”, I said, as smoothly as I could. She
picked up on my excitement though, and wore a smile like the cat that just ate
the canary.
She rolled
back in her seat and put on her seat belt, “Ok., lets go than. Make a right out
of the parking lot, than a left at the light.”
I followed
her directions down dark, winding roads for a short while. Inside the car the
quiet was almost eerie as the anticipation mounted for both of us. I actually think I heard my heart pounding
in my chest.
“Left right
here”, she said, as we approached a
small dirt road. It didn’t look like
much to me, but at this point I would have driven off a cliff if she had told
me to.
In about a
quarter of a mile the woods around the road seemed to open up to reveal a
quaint little pond.
“This is
it!” She said, “Just pull over along there.”
The radiant
moon light illuminated and complimented this place perfectly. It was mostly farmland with small, rolling
hills, a smattering of tree lines, and a small stream which fed the pond, then
gently rolled away and disappeared into the woods beyond. It was truly
a beautiful spot, just like she said.
I turned off the car and the headlights.
“So, what
do you think?” She looked towards me for approval.
“It’s
gorgeous!” I said. It really was.
We kissed
slowly at first , than started to build into a feverish frenzy as both our
hands ran freely over the others body.
All the waiting and anticipation almost got the better of me and I
thought I was going to lose control of my bodily functions. I pulled her back and stared romantically
into her eyes as I stroked her hair. I
used this brief interruption to compose myself.
I didn’t want to waste this golden opportunity.
How
beautiful she was, so clean and wholesome.
She was perfect, and I knew she was the one. I thought my date to the senior prom might
have been the “one”, but I was too young
and wasn’t ready for the commitment .
All the
teasing I took, being called “Geek” and “Brainiac” and the like, just because I
was different. All the years as an alter
boy, ringing the bells, following the priest, bowing, how humiliating.
Who was the
geek now! I wanted to yell. I wanted to show them all, look what I’ve
got!
We started
kissing again, stopping only long enough for me to unbutton her blouse and help
her slip out of it. Her breasts were nothing short of incredible. So perfectly shaped and sized for her
thin, athletic frame.
I ran my
tongue and lips over her nipples. Her
head rolled back in pleasure as I gently licked and caressed her with my mouth
and fingers.
“I want
you,” she whimpered.
“I want you
too.” I responded and slowly eased her back in her seat. I ran my hand down her sultry curves and
unbuttoned and unzipped her jeans. Her
head rolled back in such arousal, I knew she was about to orgasm. Now who was the feline and who was the bird?
She was so
engrossed by what I was doing, she never noticed me reach beneath her seat and
pull out the pre-sharpened ice pick I had placed there earlier in the evening.
I eased my
hand past the small of her back and up along her spine, careful never to let
the handle come in contact with her skin.
I drove the pick into the space between her head and neck and into her
brain.
She surged
ahead slightly almost convulsively, and let out a quiet, almost inaudible
gurgle. She went limp shortly
thereafter. I remember having the
impression she never knew what happened.
That did
it! My pants became warm and wet and I
ejaculated harder than I ever had in my entire life. What a rush!
My body shook, my heart pounded, and I began to perspire as all my
anxiety and frustration seemed to leave my body through my penis. Although I’m not a smoker, I got a sudden
urge for a cigarette.
“Was that
good for you too!” I said, obviously to no response.
I took a
few minutes to bask in the moment and let the crescendo of the high I was
felling slowly fade, like being on a exotic drug, I wanted to enjoy the “trip”
as long as I could.
I got out
of the car. It seemed cooler out, and I
remember wondering if a cold front was coming.
The sky was still cloudless and the moon still shining brightly. It must have been the sweat.
I carried
her from the car and placed her in a patch of bushes and high grass that lined
the pond. I did get a little annoyed as
I was walking back to my car. The grass
was wet and there was mud, and I was ruining a brand new pair of suede shoes.
I surveyed
the damage to the inside of my car. I
was surprised to see how little blood there was. There were just a few red spots, and a small
amount of something “gooey” which I surmised must have been some kind of fluid
from inside her skull. All in all,
pretty easy cleanup. My interior was
saved.
I was
feeling pretty good, relaxed, as I drove back the way we had come,
past the restaurant/bar where we had met, and north bound toward home .
I smile to
myself when I think how wonderful for her that she gets to sit with God in
Heaven. After all, it wasn’t her fault
that I took her in this way, though, she might have some explaining to do for
her promiscuity.
As for me,
the way I figure, my soul has already been condemned to eternal damnation, especially
after kidnapping and dismembering the neighbors pets. They never did find out who was responsible
for their disappearances, and they would have never suspected me, being the God
fearing, church going, quiet, polite, geeky brainiac that I am.
Anyway, I
did hear on the news that they were looking for her. They didn’t know if she had just taken off or
if she was a victim of foul play. I even
saw her face on one of those mailers you get,
you know, “have you seen me” cards?
I think there was an eye doctor on the other side. I kept it for my scrap book.
They
finally found her body the following spring when two fisherman were trespassing
by the pond and came across her remains.
I would have liked to be there to see how she held up for almost twelve months. She must have been quite a sight.
There have
been three others in the past two years.
Two in New York State, and one in the Poconos in Pennsylvania. They were all great experiences, unique in
their own right. So far I haven’t been
disappointed by the thrill, but, no matter how good it gets, I’ll never forget
the wonder of the first time, or just how special she was.
Jordan
Gray
