You never forget you first

 

                               You Never Forget Your First

 

 

It was a beautiful Saturday night in early May, a little over two years ago when I met her.

It was still in the upper 60s after dark . It was one of those times in New Jersey in early spring when a tug of war was going on between the cold of winter and the heat of summer , and at least for the last few days , the warmth was winning .

Hormones were raging as they always are when the first blast of warm sunshine hits the masses who’ve been bundled up for the last several months.

On this night I was no exception.  I was driving along, contemplating what I was going to do, admiring the moon as it rose ever steadily in the sky and became brighter by the minute, though it was not quite full, it still looked impressive, and wondered what I was going to do and just why was I alone on a Saturday night.

I was on this kind of lonely, dark road, state highway rte. 206 . I think it was just north of Princeton .  I came up on an area of lights, the first break of destitution this road had to offer in at least 15 minutes .

On my left was a small strip mall complete with a  multiplex movie theater and a Friendy’s Restaurant.  A couple of gas stations came into view as well as a convenience store.  On my right was what looked like a bar / restaurant with quite a few cars in the lot .

I was already about an hour and a half from my home in northern N.J., I really didn’t know how far the next place would be, and I had to pee pretty badly, so I figured “what the hell” and pulled in .

It was a fairly nice place with a bit of a rustic setting.  Inside the walls were adorned with memorabilia.  There were old cola advertisements, a wagon wheel, license plates from decades ago and from several different states, and an ad for farm tractors (this is called the Garden State after all).  I did notice the eating area was a bit too small for it’s obvious reputation, and loads of people were herded around an extremely large bar waiting for a table.

I took care of the business at hand in the men’s room and started to patrol the bar for an opening.  Luckily as I approached , a middle aged couple heard their name paged and I got a stool.

A very friendly bartender brought me an Amstel Light  (I do not drink domestic) and I proceeded to indulge in my favorite pub pastime, eavesdropping on the conversations of those around me .

Can you believe the idiocy of some people?

I started by listening to this thirty something couple to my left.  They were both dressed casually, yet very neat, as were most of the people here, almost “preppy”, as if it were “dress down Friday” at the office.  She’s telling him about the frustrations of her week..  About how her corporate American boss doesn’t appreciate her when she’s there, but when she’s out even for a day, nobody else knows her job and she’s indispensable .

She goes on to complain that the CEO of this small corporation hates her attitude and that’s why she’ll never be paid what she’s worth and that her job is in constant jeopardy.

I kept glancing over (when I thought they wouldn’t notice) to see what kind of reaction he would have .         

I figured all this “ bitching” would be irritating to him ( I know it was to me!) .  But he’s just grunting and shaking his head back and forth and responding in terms like,  “ I hate that” and  “geez” , just enough to make her think he’s really paying attention.  It seemed he’s heard all this before.  As I’m watching his eyes, he seemed more interested in ogling the attractive, long brown haired, ample breasted bartender.

Now that I’m totally disgusted watching this, (one reason why I avoid serious relationships, you loose interest),  I turned my attention to the two guys directly to my right.  They were dressed almost “clubish”, as if this was just a stop over on their way to a more happening place, more conducive to picking up woman.

They were also concentrating most of their attention and energies on the body language of our bartender, though much more openly.

The one closest to me, a dark haired, fairly muscular “Guido”  looking fella said to his friend, “ I’d pump her like an old tire!  Although, she might have to beg to be with the likes of me.”  He glared over at his friend with a sarcastic, cocky, testosterone filled “shit eating grin”.

His friend, like they were playing out a common routine said, “Yeah yeah,  you might have the looks, but remember,  we average guys don’t get  “IT” as much as you do, so we try harder to make everytime the best time.” I’d  “rock her world”.  “Besides, you’re all show, no go!”.   Then he smirked in response.

For a plain looking, balding guy trying to hide his insecurity by growing a ponytail and sporting an earring,  I admired his self confidence .

“Yeah right!” the good looking one responded, “give me one of your woman for one night, and by morning, she’d forget your name !”

They both laughed obnoxiously at their macho displays.

Enough was enough.  I was bored with this.  Even if I did enjoy this game, these “people” held no fascination for me.  All I wanted to do was finish the last of my second beer and leave before these ridiculous surroundings rubbed off on me.  I looked down at the bar for a second to make sure that the two dollars and fifty cents I left for the tip was appropriate for the six fifty tab (3.25 for a beer here I thought was a little steep) and started to rise off my stool.  That’s when I saw “her”.

She was sitting seven seats from the nearest corner of the bar to my left.  Being consumed by the simpletons around me,  I didn’t even notice her come in.

She was wholesome looking, with very little makeup, long, straight , dirty blond hair.  She seemed to be of slightly above average height , though it was hard to tell because she was sitting, and wearing a conservative but tasteful white blouse, the kind that fits nice with a pair of jeans.  Her lipstick-less lips were full, and looked soft and moist.

She looked up with her crystal blue eyes and noticed me peering in her direction.  Her nose crinkled in such a cute way as she flashed me a meltingly coy smile.

My heart fluttered, and I swear it skipped at least one beat .

She was  “Perfect”.
Could she be the  “One” I’ve waited for?  The one I’ve saved myself and my soul for?  The one to strip me of all my inhibitions and make me whole?  Most people don’t believe in love at first sight , but I always felt that if it was right,  I’d know it, and this felt so right .  The boredom I felt just a few seconds ago was just a distant memory.

The anxiety was eating me alive. I decided to throw caution to the wind and take the chance.  My inherent fear of rejection kicked in and I could feel my body temperature rise and my stomach churn with anticipation with every step I took in her direction.

She obviously saw me coming, because as I approached, she half turned in her seat and gave me a big smile. This instantly took away the pressure and quieted the butterflies in my abdomen.

“Hi!”

“Hello! “she said in the sweetest of voices, “I’ve never seen you here before.”

“I’ve never been ,” I said, feeling even easier now because of her soft,  friendly demeanor. “To be honest, I was just out for a drive and happened to stop in.

“Well,  imagine my luck, “she said as her eyes casually sized me up, perusing down then back to meet my gaze.

Wow!  That really blew me away!  As I felt my confidence growing, I returned the favor down her lean, shapely body, and coming back to make deep eye contact said,  “Believe me, the luck seems to be going all my     way.”

Yeah, corny I know, but she seemed to like it.  She smiled at me and made a yummy sound like  “Mmmmm!”

We talked for about forty five minutes.  Just casual conversation, how nice the weather’s been, how the local sports teams were doing (something she knew considerably more about than I did.  I have no use for athletics).  We had some good laughs, and of course some light flirting.  I brought her a couple of red drinks with ice, I had no idea what they were.

Things were going very well, and than, out of the blue, she said, “Hey, I was going to call my dad to come and pick me up, but if you could, I’d much rather you drove me home, if it wouldn’t be too much trouble?”  she made her face into an exaggerated pity expression, bring out her bottom lip. “It’s only about ten minutes from here, and I’d be grateful?”

Could this be happening to me?  I always thought things like this only went on in bad cable movies, but this was real, and she was so beautiful and innocent.   “Sure, no problem, “I said, still only half believing I wasn’t dreaming, “It would be my pleasure.”

Her face lit up like Times Square at midnight and she gently kissed me on the cheek.

We slowly strolled out to the car arm in arm, and I opened and closed the door for the lady.  (See, chivalry isn’t dead!).  I proceeded to my side of the car and got in.  As I put the key in the ignition, I felt her hand stroking the back of my neck.  I turned my head in her direction.  Her face was only inches from mine.

We kissed slowly and sensuously for a brief time.  She pulled away slightly,  kissed my neck softly, and whispered,  “I know a beautiful, private           “spot” not far from here, would you like to see it?

Her sweet, sexy voice exhilarated me to the point that I could hardly speak. “I’d love to”, I said, as smoothly as I could.  She picked up on my excitement though, and wore a smile like the cat that just ate the canary.

She rolled back in her seat and put on her seat belt, “Ok., lets go than. Make a right out of the parking lot, than a left at the light.”

I followed her directions down dark, winding roads for a short while. Inside the car the quiet was almost eerie as the anticipation mounted for both of us.   I actually think I heard my heart pounding in my chest.

“Left right here”,  she said, as we approached a small dirt road.  It didn’t look like much to me, but at this point I would have driven off a cliff if she had told me to.

In about a quarter of a mile the woods around the road seemed to open up to reveal a quaint little pond.

“This is it!” She said, “Just pull over along there.”

The radiant moon light illuminated and complimented this place perfectly.  It was mostly farmland with small, rolling hills, a smattering of tree lines, and a small stream which fed the pond, then gently rolled away and disappeared into the woods beyond.  It was truly  a beautiful spot, just like she said.  I turned off the car and the headlights.

“So, what do you think?” She looked towards me for approval.

“It’s gorgeous!”  I said. It really was.

We kissed slowly at first , than started to build into a feverish frenzy as both our hands ran freely over the others body.  All the waiting and anticipation almost got the better of me and I thought I was going to lose control of my bodily functions.  I pulled her back and stared romantically into her eyes as I stroked her hair.  I used this brief interruption to compose myself.  I didn’t want to waste this golden opportunity.

How beautiful she was, so clean and wholesome.  She was perfect, and I knew she was the one.  I thought my date to the senior prom might have been the “one”,  but I was too young and wasn’t ready for the commitment .

All the teasing I took, being called “Geek” and “Brainiac” and the like, just because I was different.  All the years as an alter boy, ringing the bells, following the priest, bowing, how humiliating.

Who was the geek now!  I wanted to yell.  I wanted to show them all, look what I’ve got!

We started kissing again, stopping only long enough for me to unbutton her blouse and help her slip out of it. Her breasts were nothing short of incredible.  So perfectly shaped and sized for her thin,  athletic frame.

I ran my tongue and lips over her nipples.  Her head rolled back in pleasure as I gently licked and caressed her with my mouth and fingers.

“I want you,” she whimpered.

“I want you too.” I responded and slowly eased her back in her seat.  I ran my hand down her sultry curves and unbuttoned and unzipped her jeans.   Her head rolled back in such arousal, I knew she was about to orgasm.  Now who was the feline and who was the bird?

She was so engrossed by what I was doing, she never noticed me reach beneath her seat and pull out the pre-sharpened ice pick I had placed there earlier in the evening.

I eased my hand past the small of her back and up along her spine, careful never to let the handle come in contact with her skin.  I drove the pick into the space between her head and neck and into her brain.

She surged ahead slightly almost convulsively, and let out a quiet, almost inaudible gurgle.  She went limp shortly thereafter.  I remember having the impression she never knew what happened.   

That did it!  My pants became warm and wet and I ejaculated harder than I ever had in my entire life.  What a rush!  My body shook, my heart pounded, and I began to perspire as all my anxiety and frustration seemed to leave my body through my penis.  Although I’m not a smoker, I got a sudden urge for a cigarette.

“Was that good for you too!” I said, obviously to no response.

I took a few minutes to bask in the moment and let the crescendo of the high I was felling slowly fade, like being on a exotic drug, I wanted to enjoy the “trip” as long as I could.

I got out of the car.  It seemed cooler out, and I remember wondering if a cold front was coming.  The sky was still cloudless and the moon still shining brightly.  It must have been the sweat.

I carried her from the car and placed her in a patch of bushes and high grass that lined the pond.  I did get a little annoyed as I was walking back to my car.  The grass was wet and there was mud, and I was ruining a brand new pair of suede shoes.

I surveyed the damage to the inside of my car.  I was surprised to see how little blood there was.  There were just a few red spots, and a small amount of something “gooey” which I surmised must have been some kind of fluid from inside her skull.  All in all, pretty easy cleanup.  My interior was saved.

I was feeling pretty good, relaxed, as I drove back the way we had   come,  past the restaurant/bar where we had met, and north bound toward home .

I smile to myself when I think how wonderful for her that she gets to sit with God in Heaven.  After all, it wasn’t her fault that I took her in this way, though, she might have some explaining to do for her promiscuity.

As for me, the way I figure, my soul has already been condemned to eternal damnation, especially after kidnapping and dismembering the neighbors pets.  They never did find out who was responsible for their disappearances, and they would have never suspected me, being the God fearing, church going, quiet, polite, geeky brainiac that I am.

Anyway, I did hear on the news that they were looking for her.  They didn’t know if she had just taken off or if she was a victim of foul play.  I even saw her face on one of those mailers you get,  you know, “have you seen me” cards?  I think there was an eye doctor on the other side.  I kept it for my scrap book.

They finally found her body the following spring when two fisherman were trespassing by the pond and came across her remains.  I would have liked to be there to see how she held up for almost twelve months.  She must have been quite a sight.

There have been three others in the past two years.  Two in New York State, and one in the Poconos in Pennsylvania.  They were all great experiences, unique in their own right.  So far I haven’t been disappointed by the thrill, but, no matter how good it gets, I’ll never forget the wonder of the first time, or just how special she was.

 

Jordan Gray